February 2009
7 posts
The Superbowl - Let’s Gamble
Readers, today is one of the most important days of the year for America. Today is the Superbowl. Amidst months on end of corporate scandals and minimal consumer faith in the financial markets, today is corporate America’s chance to redeem itself. That undeserved multimillion dollar severance package for the thankfully departing CEO will be forgiven and forgotten provided the company can turn a...
January 2009
7 posts
Dinosaur Chicken Nuggets
Readers, today I was at Safeway and caught on to an increasingly popular trend of chicken nugget manufacturers: to shape the nuggets like dinosaurs. Today there were three different brands of dino-shapped nuggets. I am a fan of the dinosaurs and all, but this seems bizarre. Chicken nuggets are chicken nuggets - why is there a necessity to make shape them like dinosaurs?
I thought about going...
CNN.com Headlines, January 22, 11:17AM PST
As I visited CNN this morning and read what was up in the news today, I became somewhat shocked at what a violence-driven website CNN has become. I’ve classified each of the following top headlines at CNN into a generalized category. It should come as no surprise that all of them fit into Politics, Murder/Death and Entertainment, but I was very surprised at the abundance of death present...
Great Expectations, Craigslist Style
I recently ended my tenure at a pleasant house. Below is the story of the pleasant house’s demise. If you have any interest in Bagel Bites, stolen Bagel Bites, or police being called about stolen Bagel Bites, this may just be the story for you.
Chapter One:
Many months ago, I found a nice house to live in. I found the house on Craigslist, and it was occupied by very sane, very laid back...
Spacey Drivers
Today I was driving and slowed to a stop behind another car. Very normal. The light was green, but the car wasn’t moving. Not as normal. To bring back normalcy to the roadways, I very lightly tapped my horn. The guy in the car looked up from whatever he was doing, completely startled, and then began to accelerate. Unfortunately, normalcy was not meant to be during this round of traffic...
The Calculator Effect
It’s a short rant, but necessary nonetheless. When I am not writing blogs, I am an accountant for a small company. An essential fact of life is that all accountants need calculators; this is probably one of the first ten things babies learn when they are brought into the world - Accountants. Need. Calculators. The reason I bring this to your attention, readers, is that my coworkers are...
The Attack on the Cherry Tomatoes
One reader described the wonders of the cherry tomato as, “the explosion in your mouth, all the seeds spreading around, looking for earth in which to grow, but they only find stomach.“ Yes, the unfulfilled destiny of the cherry tomato seed is a sad story indeed. When I was young, my family and I went to Wendy’s and ordered from the all-you-can-eat salad bar. In my six year-old eyes, it was more...
Crazy Mailboxes
As I drive through residential neighborhoods on my way to work every morning, I am noticing an increasingly popular trend among Americans looking for ways to assert their individuality. With both election season and Christmas over, many campaign signs and holiday lights are finding themselves placed into a potentially eternal hibernation otherwise known as the garage. The greatest effect of this...